Glibbertysmidgeon

“You can’t be depressed for the next four years, hon.”

“No,” I responded, “That would be letting the terrorists win.” This is my idea of a joke this morning.

I was trying to put eyeliner on lids swollen from last night’s tears, though I don’t really care if I look nice today. I pulled on a black sweater to wear under my black suit. I added black earrings and a black necklace. I wished I had a black veil, or at least some large, dark sunglasses like the ones movie stars wear when they’re hiding a black eye. I’d like to wear one of those armbands people used to wear when they were in mourning. Why did we stop doing this? It seems a healthy thing, to wear our grief on the outside… to silently ask strangers for their understanding when life has hurt us deeply.

For me, this was not just an ordinary presidential election.
For me, this was a referendum on American values.

Would we stand up for our civil liberties, or re-elect the powers that brought us the Patriot Act, torture in Abu Gharib, and the “if you’re not with us then you’re against us” doctrine of labeling dissenters as traitors?

Would we reach out to our poor, our children, and our middle class by closing off tax loopholes to large corporations so that we could offer affordable health care coverage for all? Or would we continue to reduce services to the poor, such as public transit, education, and parks, so that we can give more tax breaks to the rich?

Would we take responsibility for our burgeoning budget deficit and our ominous trade deficit, or would we clap on our blinders and assume that some magical economic boom will solve our financial woes?

Would we give in to our fear, and continue sending our children to die in foreign lands, clinging to the illusion that we are safer from terrorism if we provoke them on their own turf? Or would we look for a sustainable solution involving compromise, long-term diplomacy, and respect for other cultures?

Would we vote for religious tolerance, or affirm the recent trend toward merging evangelical Christian fundamentalism with our government?

Would we rise up to protect our unborn children and grandchildren from mercury poisoning, and the world changes caused by global warming, or would we continue to subsidize our addiction to big cars and bigger houses blazing with light and heat, by allowing coal and oil refineries to continue dumping their poisons into the air and water instead of requiring them to upgrade their facilities and clean up?

Last night I was optimistic. Kris and I waited in long lines at the polls, it was heartening to see so many Americans were getting involved in politics. We chatted with our neighbors about the issues of the day, and winked conspiratorially as we entered our voting booths. I waved as I exited, saying to my fellow patriots, “Happy Election Day!”

Now that the election is over, I am not optimistic. I have a sick feeling in my stomach, and I keep getting that “I want my mommy” feeling. But mommy voted for the other side.

I’m afraid it will take some time.
I have to make peace with this loss before I am ready to make peace with the half of my country that chose the path we are all doomed to follow.