I don’t think anyone would be surprised to hear me say I’m an idealist.
Though it may be impossible to live up to my ideals entirely, I don’t see that as an excuse not to do what I can.
One of the things that keeps me here in New York is the subway system. I can’t remember a time when driving didn’t make me feel guilty. I must have learned that carbon monoxide is a bad thing before I was old enough to drive. Back home, I did my fair share of driving to the grocery store (.25 miles away from home) and the laundromat (across the street from the grocery store), but I also avoided driving when I could. I biked to school and to work all through college, and generally mooched rides whenever possible.
Despite all of the things I do that I know harm someone, somewhere, for some reason- like wasting the paper cup that holds the latte I’m sipping right now- I tend to choose certain battles and stick with them.
They’re specific, often quixotic choices, but they’re mine.
For example, I only buy soda from a fountain. This is because bottled soda and water are created by privatizing access to water in small towns or poor countries, and then denying local residents access to their own water. In some locations, the results of this behavior are deadly.
Except Orangina, which I order from FreshDirect by the gallons.
I have never seen Orangina at a soda fountain. If I ever do, I suppose I’ll be forced to consider having a fountain installed in my house so that I can create Orangina myself using local water.
For now, I just give Orangina a pass.
Being a parent has created a whole new generation of idealism compromises.
On choosing organic, parenthood scores well. There are wonderful baby foods out there that are completely organic- we use Happy Baby, which is also frozen instead of canned, so it tastes great and has more vitamins. Also, they’re do-gooders (or claim to be) so that helps ease the guilt of not making my own baby food at home.
Scarlett sleeps on an organic mattress, covered by an organic wool absorbent pad, topped by an organic cotton sheet. Of course, lately she’s taken to sleeping with a pillow to help her sinuses drain. That pillow, stolen from her parents’ bed, is made of some unidentified synthetic fiber, and is wrapped in a case made from non-organic cotton. It’s a temporary solution, and one I’m feeling, suddenly, like I’d better fix right away.
I am deeply ashamed of my failure to move from disposable to cloth diapers.
These insidious little landfillers are so effective, so convenient, so AVAILABLE that I have been able to put off learning the essentials of cloth diapering, such as which style to buy, how to use a “doubler” and what kind of cover is best. I cringe inside every single time I change a diaper, and every time I need to order more, I hesitate. “Shouldn’t I call a diaper service instead?”
Then the baby poops, and I set that thought aside and rush to order another case of Pampers.
For years I have resisted the disposable cleaning products trend. I use environmentally friendly spray, real sponges and washcloths, and a real broom and mop to clean my house. I even have a squeegie to for cleaning my windows. Why use a paper towel when a real dishrag will work just as well? But it’s a short hop from disposable diaper wipes to disposable anti-bacterial wipes.
To me, the Swiffer has long been the poster child of disposalism.
A cheap plastic handle and a cheap plastic swivel head, designed and constructed to make me buy box after box of textured napkins that cling to the dirt, and go into the trash. You don’t even have to bend over!
Today, I have reached a new low.
I started off blameless enough…I know that the Swiffer handle itself was abandoned in the apartment when we moved in. But I bought that box of toxic chemical sheets myself.
With Scarlett starting to crawl, I have started to get desperate about the dog hair situation, and nothing clears out the fur faster than a quick Swiff before work.
I am on the horns of a serious idealistic crisis.
The evil empire! A Swiffer in the house!
Thankfully, I wrote this blog entry.
While Googling to find out what they call those chemical paper napkin refill thingies, I came across this eco-friendly Swiffer-like thing.
Now I face a new dilemma.
If I buy the eco-friendly Swiffer-like thing, what will I do with the Swiffer I have?
Do I throw the evil chemical patches in the trash to go poison a landfill? Should I use them first?
Do I give them away so someone else can throw them into the landfill?
I cannot unmanufacture these things.
There’s no easy way to win back your soul once you give in to disposalism.
